1. Work on cultivating a strong friendship with your spouse. The emotional support this can give you is invaluable. The bonus is, your kids will feel more secure seeing that their parents have a great relationship.
2. Schedule regular spiritual activities together. You know the saying…pray together, stay together.
3. Devote time to share Krsna consciousness with others, you’ll inspire them and yourselves. Start a weekly bhajan or reading session in your home, take the whole family out on book distribution or harinam several times a month, devise an outreach program suited to your God given talents…. share what you’ve been given!
4. Discuss with your spouse, your spiritual realizations and the benefits you receive from devotional activities. It will deepen your appreciation of Krsna and of each other as inherent pure spiritual beings.
5. Thank your family members regularly for the myriad of things they do for you. We have the tendency to take things for granted. Envision how all those little efforts contribute to supporting your spiritual life.
6. Start thinking about what your “mission” in Krishna Consciousness is and start talking to your spouse about it. Try to see how your individual missions can become a “joint” mission…it can start small like making the Temple grounds more beautiful, or starting a bhakti yoga club at your local college or mentoring younger married devotee couples. As you grow older and your family responsibilities decrease, you will have something that holds you together spiritually.
7. Become skilled in discussing your needs with openness and honesty – what you need to feel protected, to feel understood, your needs for affection etc. Unless you are a paramahamsa, sex is going to be an issue. Seek guidance from other mature spiritually strong grhasthas. Feeling misunderstood or invalidated erodes your connection. If you are avoiding the issues and each other, its hard to practice spiritual activities together with a deep conviction.
8. Your grihastha ashram is not separate from your spiritual life – it IS your spiritual life–live it accordingly! Srila Prabhupada told Yamuna devi that an ashram is a factory for producing Krsna consciousness.
by Uttama devi dasi, extracted from Vaisnava Family Resources Newsletter September, 2010, Volume 5